TikTok’s latest flex? Double Income, No Kids

They’re in their late 20s or early 30s. Weekends are filled with artisan brunches and spontaneous getaways. Their spare rooms are transformed into walk-in wardrobes and cupboards are filled with the latest gadgets or designer splurges. Who are these couples and what is the one thing they have in common? You guessed it, no kids.

These couples are often known by the vaguely-ridiculous-sounding acronym DINK: households with double incomes, and no kids. As a result of their childfree status, these career couples have the disposable income to spend on non-essential items and experiences and the time to post about it to their thousands of followers. 

Cody, co-founder of Childfree Media, got married in 2010 and quickly decided with his wife that they would be happy as a family of two. “My wife and I made the conscious decision to be childfree, so we are DINKs for the long haul,” Cody explains. “We enjoy financial freedom, the ability to change careers or start a business, volunteering, and taking time to enjoy hobbies without the regret of how our decisions will affect a child.”

This label has recently seen a surge online, with the hashtag currently sitting at 67.9M views on TikTok. Many are coming across the term for the first time or relating to their own situation, whether that be for the short-term or the long haul. One popular video begins: “On Saturday morning, we enjoyed a lie-in and then headed for brunch.” Another shows a couple enjoying a date-night run to Costco where they fill their cart with fun snacks and a voiceover boasts, “We don’t have kids to feed but we’ve got lots of money to spend on goodies.”

Another viral TikTok stars a dog wandering around its own bedroom filled with aesthetically pleasing dog toys. Text accompanying the video says, “POV: Your parents are millennial DINKWADs and they buy you a house with your own bedroom.” In case you were curious, DINKWAD stands for double income, no kids with a dog. 

A recent survey revealed that one out of every eight adults falls into the DINK category, and an additional two out of five (39%) do not have intentions of having children in the future.

The escalating cost of living crisis has left many struggling with affording necessities like food, bills, and homeownership, with children coming out bottom of the list of priorities for many. Among those identifying as DINKs in the survey, 26% cited financial pressure as the primary reason for their choice not to have children.

Lily, a PR consultant at Synced Up, doesn’t have the time or the money to raise children. Both she and her partner work full time and neither has the desire to give up their job to start a family. While the extra cash doesn’t go amiss, for Lily it’s more time that is the benefit. “However, having said that, I do buy quite a lot for my new kittens. They are very spoiled.”

The survey, conducted by Forbes Advisor, found that DINK households earn an average of 6% more income than couples with children, as well as allocating more funds each month compared to the typical household, with average monthly expenditures of £2,101 for DINKs versus the national average of £1,926 per month. Two-thirds (63%) like to spend cash on going out for food and drinks, 56% put money into savings, while 54% spend their disposable income on holidays. 

Weigh that against the cost of raising children — with the Child Poverty Action Group putting it at £150,000 for a couple and over £200,000 for a single parent — and it's easy to see why, for some, they’re happy to put parenting plans on the back burner. In 1971, 18% of women were childfree by the time they hit 30. In 2021, that figure is 50%, according to ONS polling.

While the numbers of DINKs may be rising, the term itself is not new. The acronym has been around since at least the late ‘80s, predating TikTok by at least 36 years. An LA Times article written in 1987 titled ‘Dinks–Double Income, No Kids–Is Baby-Boomers’ Newest Moniker’ states, “Only by postponing kids and having two incomes have these couples found they can achieve those very high material aspirations that all baby boomers start out with.” Replace “baby boomer” with “millennials” and the sentiment still stands today.

By not having to raise a child, Cody and his wife have been able to live below their means. “DINK can be a life hack to stay out of financial debt,” he says. “We have started multiple businesses and worked on passion projects — free time is way more valuable than money.” 

However, not everyone views the DINK lifestyle as envious, with the comments section of the most popular videos filled with heated responses from those lauding the life-changing magic of having kids and the perils of growing old without them by your bedside. “Some people may have a negative reaction to the term DINK because it challenges traditional societal norms and expectations regarding marriage and family,” explains Dr Becky Spelman, Psychologist and Founder at Private Therapy Clinic. “Some people may feel that the decision to be DINK is selfish or self-centered, as it prioritises personal goals and desires.”

“I think there's something about it that's unacceptable to society's standards, sadly,” says Lily. “I've been told I need to settle down, that my views on not having children are unusual... so I think people post about [being DINKs] — and maybe go as far as gloating — because they are trying to justify their decision.”

As far as personal preference goes, whether someone chooses to have kids or not is no one else's business. “In recent years, there has been a shift in societal attitudes towards family and lifestyle choices, meaning there is more acceptance of different paths to fulfillment,” adds Dr Spelman. For Cody and his wife, the biggest positive of being DINKs is being able to continue to grow as a couple. “We have more opportunities for quality time, shared experiences, and nurturing our marriage.”

However, when the decision is influenced by the UK’s extremely high cost of housing and childcare, that poses a problem. “Economic factors such as rising living costs, increased financial responsibilities, and career demands have led some couples to prioritise financial stability, personal goals, and professional advancement over starting a family," says Dr Spelman.

As daily life continues to get more and more expensive, the number of couples choosing to postpone parenthood or put it off altogether will no doubt increase. While any lifestyle can seem envious when compressed into a two-minute clip soundtracked by the latest trending song, for those on the fence, not having enough disposable income for fun snacks is enough to sway them against becoming parents, at least for the time being.