The sassy man apocalypse is low-key subversive

On August 22, 2022, Twitter user @yattadondada tweeted six words: “We in a sassy man apocalypse”. The tweet has since accumulated 35k likes, but its cultural impact is far greater — on TikTok, the top liked video under the search “sassy man apocalypse”, posted this week, has 570k likes alone. The phrase’s corresponding hashtag has over 37m views, with each video acting as evidence of the so-called sassy man apocalypse, as women show their boyfriends eye-rolling, side-eying, or displaying another sign of “attitude”.

The comment sections below these TikToks consist of a mix of women commiserating and men endorsing the sassy lifestyle. And while the trend may seem like yet another passing form of relationship-related content, it actually reflects a change in attitude when it comes to how TikTok is influencing gender dynamics and dating.

The comment sections below these TikToks consist of a mix of women commiserating and men endorsing the sassy lifestyle. And while the trend may seem like yet another passing form of relationship-related content, it actually reflects a change in attitude when it comes to how TikTok is influencing gender dynamics and dating. For months, the platform has been dominated by content reifying traditional gender roles in relationships — whether that’s “stay at home girlfriend” day-in-the-lifes or tips on finding men with “provider energy”. Whilst sassy man apocalypse content isn’t entirely positive — afterall, women participating in the trend refer to themselves as “victims” of male sass run amok — some commenters and posters are admitting that they’re actually pretty into men with a little ‘tude. @notaaronandcara, the account behind two of the trend's most viewed videos, is even a dedicated couple account — showcasing cute and funny moments in the duo's relationship. It’s yet another example of how humour can subvert the spread of unregulated ideology and agenda-backed advice online — in this case, complicating the pipeline for a “tradwife-lite” creators and for-purchase eBooks on finding a “high value man”.